Odavno pratim Bulwer Lytton natječaj (vidi rezultate 2007 i 2006). Ukratko radi se o natječaju koji pokušava pronaći najbolje početne rečenice u izmišljenim novelama, a sve po uzoru na početnu rečenicu Bulwer Lyttonove knige “Paul Clifford” koja je započela slijedećom rečenicom:
“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
A upravu tu rečenicu je godinama kopirao Snoopy u svojim stripovima koji su koristili “Bila je mračna i olujna noć…”.
Ovogodišnji pobjednici se nalaze ovdje, a ja vam donosim nekoliko zanimljivijih (svaka rečenica je novi kandidat):
“Die, commie pigs!” grunted Sergeant “Rocky” Steele through his cigar stub as he machine-gunned the North Korean farm animals.
Mike Hummer had been a private detective so long he could remember Preparation A, his hair reminded everyone of a rat who’d bitten into an electrical cord, but he could still run faster than greased owl snot when he was on a bad guy’s trail, and they said his friskings were a lot like getting a vasectomy at Sears.
Bill swore the affair had ended, but Louise knew he was lying, after discovering Tupperware containers under the seat of his car, which were not the off-brand containers that she bought to save money, but authentic, burpable, lidded Tupperware; and she knew he would see that woman again, because unlike the flimsy, fake containers that should always be recycled responsibly, real Tupperware must be returned to its rightful owner.
Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater – love touches you, and marks you forever.
Nobody knew just who the steely-eyed stranger was, where he came from, where he was headed, or what his intentions were while he was in Dodge City; but he wasn’t an hombre you’d want to stick your tongue out at or flip off, and any man who tried to tickle him would be asking for a long stay in a pine box, if you know what I mean.
It was a dark and stormy night, except when the lightning flashed, because then it wasn’t dark; it sort of turned the windows into a giant disco ball for a moment, but eventually the thunder and lightning stopped and it settled down to a steady light rain, so then it really was dark, but it would probably be a stretch to call it stormy.
Vrijedi spomenuti da postoji i jedan drugi natječaj koji se zove Lyttle Lytton, koji također traži uvodne rečenice ali moraju biti nešto kraće:
Sophi broke down in tears, like a diesel car that had run out of petrol.
This story is a murder mystery — the mystery of a murder.
Tears are permanent when you tattoo them to your face.
With the backbreaking work of the Gold Rush came massage techniques from across the globe.